Gosh, where do I start? This project was a rollercoaster of high expectations, what felt like brick walls, and the overwhelming urge to either punch something or give up entirely. I didn't do either of those things, btw. But I did freak out, a lot. At first, the whole project was going rather smoothly, and other than some personal issues with actually getting myself to do the required work, I was super excited. And then Ms. Rona hit the scene and Jesus did it throw me for a loop. The second quarantine started, my brain basically shut down. I'm not kidding, my depression was fine because I was still on my antidepressants, but my ADD? My ADD saw its chance and freaking ran with it. All the productivity I had worked so hard to create in the past few months since being diagnosed, out the window. My executive function crashed, any semblance of routine was gone and even better, I was stuck at home with my entire family and zero way to escape or be independent. Oh my god was quarantine was hard. And obviously, my project took a massive hit. As soon as we got into quarantine, any and all school work, or anything related to school work just stopped happening entirely. My brain looked at it and was like yea no, lol. So I just stopped working on my project for a whole 2 freaking weeks. Except it didn't get any better from there, because we were still on quarantine and uh oh, my project was still due.
So I handled it like a champ! And by that I mean I freaked out, bombarded Mrs. Stoklosa with emails, and generally freaked out more. I had to change the script, the actors, literally everything except for the core parts of the script. Jeez, I even ended up changing the name of the film cause I like totally forgot I didn't have a gold crown that I could use, and I couldn't even buy one on Amazon that would arrive in time. Then the real work began, cause sure, I can change stuff, but having to implement and follow through with the whole project, two weeks away from the deadline? That was really really rough.
Ultimately, a lot of things went wrong. Filming locations didn't work out, my brother was a pain in the butt to work with, my parents were also pain in the butts, and I hated every single thing I filmed. And I know I sound like I'm being dramatic, but that's cause I actually am being dramatic. That was another really big problem. Because of quarantine, all my emotions and frustrations were magnified 100% because I didn't have any other distractions or outlets. And that made the project even harder, cause I never really had the chance to step back and reflect on my project, it was just constant panic.
So that's kind of how my project went, which sucks because I really loved what I was beginning to create before quarantine, and then I let the whole situation get the best of me, and I ended up letting this project become rushed and not what I originally wanted.
There was still some good that came out of it though. For one, I think I did a really great job on the editing. It was probably one of the hardest parts, because I did it all in one 5 hour period, and I ended up having to reshoot some stuff, and cobble together extra seconds from random shots I had, but all together, I like the way the editing came out.
I also really, really love the key art I made. It felt so quirky and bright and looking at it, I see parts of the film I originally wanted to create, and that makes me happy, cause it means that even through all of this struggle, I was still able to create at least one thing that the me from a couple of months ago would be happy with. I also just love graphic design an insane amount, which is something I learned thanks to this class. Even outside of class, I'm always using Canva and other graphic design software to make fun stuff, like a cute character I made for my friend.
All in all, as much as I beat myself up for messing up so badly, I still appreciate the project I created. It shows growth, perseverance, and one of the first times of me not giving up just because my brain decided to take a hike. I hope one day I get to return to this script and make something that fulfills every single one of the ideas and hopes I had for the film.
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